There was a time when marriage was a forever concept. It wasn’t a roll of the dice or a spin of the wheel hoping to land on the right number. It was a prayerful, premeditated, carefully calculated decision that the person you choose is the person you determine to do life together with. Today, so many flippantly enter marriage naively believing that things will automatically go well because the two of you were allegedly meant for each other. You date for a while, fall in love, decide it’s time to settle down, and venture forth into the unknown of the great beyond known as marriage with little training or understanding as to what lies ahead. You simply have faith that your marriage will work.
In 2 Peter 1:5 we read, “Add to your faith virtue.” In other words, now that you have faith don’t stop there. Faith is foundational, but it is not enough. You have a responsibility to keep moving, to keep growing, and virtue should be what you are striving to add to your basic faith. Putting this within the context of marriage, it is not enough to have faith that your marriage will go well; you have a responsibility to add to that faith.
I like what it says in The Message translation. We are admonished to keep building upon what we have been given as Christians, “complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love” (2 Peter 1:5-7). While we could elaborate on all these virtues, let’s look at just a few.
Can you imagine a marriage where you didn’t just passively hope that all would go well, but you actually took upon yourself the responsibility for your own personal growth? What if you brought good character to the table and your spouse didn’t have to wonder if you were trustworthy or telling the truth – where your reputation for integrity preceded you and your spouse knew you always had their back?
What does it even mean to have “passionate patience?” I can be patient at times, but am I passionate about extending patience to my spouse? Can you imagine how he or she would feel if they knew that we were excited and more than willing to extend them grace for their shortcomings or even their thoughtlessness?
“Warm friendliness” within a marriage looks like a best friend relationship. Lovers should continue to enjoy meaningful conversation seeking to know each other’s hurts and hopes, as well as being an intimate and intricate part of one another’s world. “Generous love” overlooks each other’s faults, and instead determines to give and sacrifice whether or not we think the other person deserves it.
Take responsibility for your marriage by taking responsibility for the part that you play. Each of us have so much to learn and areas where we can grow. Begin by using the Word of God as your standard of measure. Let faith be your starting point, but don’t rest there. The Lord has greatness for your marriage as you invest your faith in Him and ask for help to “add to your faith virtue.”
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